Not long ago I was reading an article on the children raised in orphanages overseas. (In a particular region, but the study applies to all children.) Researchers were baffled when the children, most aged 2-6, were adopted by parents in the United States and not only failed to adapt but showed highly antisocial behavior. Investigation discovered that these children had been left in cribs from the time they were received in the orphanages to the time they were adopted. They had a bare minimum of human interaction, only basic diaper changing, handed food, and not allowed to play with the other children. As a result, the children had not been touched, skin to skin, during the critical developmental ages. Without touch, the children were unable to form connections to other people, and unable to bond with anyone, including their new adoptive parents. Some of the resulting behavioral issues were so severe that some parents were forced to return the children. The conclusion was that skin to skin contact between a child and a caregiver is crucial to the child's future ability to form bonds and relationships with others. Seems kind of like a ‘duh’ factor, in some ways. Breastfeeding is designed to have touch and eye contact, as is bathing and diaper changing.
My curiosity was roaming around and it occurred to me that this effect can be found in adults. How many of us know someone or are someone that is very isolated, either by choice or necessity, and does not receive a lot of human touch? People that are single and live alone for many years tend to start having odd quirks and behaviors. I’d always thought that this was probably due to not having another person around to act as ‘check and balance’, to tell you that something was weird, or you were being rude, etc. With no one to buffer and guide our behavior, we don’t notice that it is slipping outside the norm. They often seem highly self-centered, which I think comes from having no one BUT themselves to care for/about, and not necessarily narcissism.
Granted, this is all pure speculation on my part, but you have to admit it’s interesting to consider. Does, like a child, the lack of touch help to drive an adult to more anti-social behavior? Lead to depression or an increase in depression? Negatively impact a persons ability to cope with stress, pain, or injury? I tend to think it does. We are hard wired to need touch. How many times have you heard an person that is semi-isolated or isolated say they had a massage and felt SO much better afterward? Or a physical therapy appointment? Isolation itself has been studied repeatedly as a contributing factor for mental issues. But what about touch?
Perhaps social media does help alleviate the mental feeling of aloneness, but it does not help with lack of touch. Is that why some people find social media to only be moderately helpful? It creates a connected isolation? How would someone that is isolated in this way go about giving and receiving touch? Obviously, massage involves touch but it is often expensive and not covered by insurance, making it out of reach for a large group of people. Myself included. I am lucky, I have a loving husband and am not isolated from touch or interaction with him. The rest of the world is a different story. Other than social media the only people I talk to on a regular basis is my children. When it comes to touch, it’s very limited. Doctor appointments and haircuts are all that really come to mind.
Which brings me to another issue for those with disabilities. Touch is often painful. I remember my youngest, always the hugger, getting her feelings hurt because she didn’t understand that her hugs were painful for me. During flare ups, I can be so sensitive that I don’t even want to sit near someone or hold my husbands hand. Widespread joint pain can be such a painful thing when the weather changes, or I’ve overdone it cleaning or sometimes for no real reason at all. So how does a person tackle that? I suppose we each have to find our own way, but it seems to me that just asking someone to hold your hand because you need a human touch could be horribly misconstrued.
Perhaps the medical establishment could put their two cents in on the issue and recommend to insurance companies and the medicare board that massages be considered a vital treatment for those who otherwise are isolated from touch? Most massage therapists that I have been to or been friends with are very flexible to the needs of the person and have a deep understanding of pain and it’s related issues. Could a regular massage appointment truly help someone that is otherwise isolated from touch? Is there a chemical reaction in the brain that happens only in response to touch, and it’s absence be the trigger for increased sensitivity to pain?
Where do pets figure into this picture? There have been studies that show petting a cat or dog can lower blood pressure and reduce stress hormones. Can a pet replace human touch? I don’t have a dog or a cat, so I can’t weigh in on this one. I do have parrots and I can say that it is nice to sit and pet them (or give them scritches, as most parrot parents call it). I would think that with the depth of bond that can be seen between humans and pets, that it could have some impact on the human touch side. Can it replace human touch all together? I don’t know, and would be interested in insights from those that do have pets.
Again, this is just my mind roaming around, kicking a ball of thought to see where it lands. There could be studies out there on the subject that I have just been unable to locate. I would find it interesting to hear other’s thoughts and experience on the subject. Please, answer any or all of the following, and add your two cents!
Do you consider yourself isolated or semi-isolated from touch?
Is being isolated from touch a factor in:
Pain perception
Depression
Stress management
Overall attitude
How does touch affect you? Do you find it comforting?
If you have had a massage, did it help you cope with your regular symptoms?
Do you have a pet that you regularly pet? How does it affect your feeling of isolation from human touch?
Thanks!
TH
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